tears flowing

i got cheated! thanks!

2008-02-01T10:17:00.000+08:00

now i know the answer.. he has someone else in his heart..

if he cheated.. i'm cool..

i'm still lovable..i'm still great.. i wasnt a failure.. i wasnt a cry baby..afterall..
i have faith in u.. so i didnt check on you.. truth came out just like that.

i'm glad that it ended..i just lose someone who doesnt love me.. yet he lose someone who truly did..

No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
My head in the fire,
sooner or later I get what i'm asking for

No matter what you say about life,
I learn every time I bleed.
The truth is a stranger
My soul is in danger,
I gotta let my spirit be free to,
Admit that I was wrong and then change my mind.
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind.
I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Lived every second like it was my last one.
Don't look back got a new direction
Loved you once, needed protection.
You're still a part of everything I do,
you're on my heart just like a tattoo,
Just like a tatto,
I'll always have you.

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking ties.
When I look in the mirror,
Didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could stop
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind.
Sorry but I gotta be strong and leave you behind

I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Lived every second like it was my last one.
Don't look back got a new direction
Loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do,
you're on my heart just like a tattoo,
I'll always have you.

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you.
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do.

I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Lived every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
Loved you once, needed protection.
You're still a part of everything I do,

you're on my heart just like a tattoo.

Just like a tattooI'll always have you.

age gap

2007-10-18T01:54:00.000+08:00

i found myself crying again.. i have a friend or two who tried to cheer me up by making me opening up to them.. really grateful..but i find it so hard out of a sudden... i, myself, dont know if i'm right to feel this way or think tt way... but i'm certain that feelings cant be helped but thinking can..

i find it so hard to face it everyday..especially when my true self would actually irritate him..i feel like i'm working under his company or something..like watever i do has got to be satisfying and mature and realistic..every conversation is like introducing a proposal or like having interview with him.. watever i say..or react..has to sound like i'm very fine..i'm tough..at the same time friendly and gentle.. just like how i should behave during interviews..

i dont know if i should feel this way or not..am i being wildful again? can he still accept me for who i am and compromise with me in a way that i'm not being demanding towards him?

i really dont know wat abt me tt's bothering him.. is he really sure that wat he thinks abt me is right? i'm demanding..is one point tt's still worth for me to find out if it's true..

i'm 19.. not 23.. i still have much energy going in me.. i wanna enjoy my life to the fullest..with fun and friends..do watever i can do now before i get too old to do? like crying? hanging out late?

maybe having some restrictions at home is quite a help becoz even if i have all my freedom..he wouldnt spend it with me..but all i could thought of was him.

i think i'm wrong to only think of him.. alright.. i should think for my friends..

friends??? where the hell are they???

breaking down a little..

2007-10-14T10:13:00.000+08:00

i'm being demanding towards him..he said..

am i really?

i feel so helpless and hopeless..

i dont know how to be less demanding in his point of view..

i dont think i am a good gf..

feels like i'm such a failure..

he seems perfect..at least to me..

there's so much i wanna express out.. but i cant find the right words..

i know that there's alot of pain i have to bear if i let go now..

coz everything i do is gonna remind me of him..

i need to be strong..

Bad day..

2007-10-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

well... looks like nobody's having a good time now either..

this would be the last time i'll ever gonna let him hurt my pride again..

i have the freedom to cry whenever i want.. whether he likes it or not..

i wanna do watever i enjoy most..

i should stop watever tt i dont like coz it's killing me..

will god still put me in heaven if i die? i doubt so..

i wish i'll just end up nowhere.. poof.. gone.. die means really die..

no more soul.. watever. hate the life i'm having now.

Finding faults?

2007-10-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

I happily bought a new curtain and was really happy and proud on my choice.. i came home with a really tired feet and started to fix tt curtain and realised i dont know how to. Mum came back just in time..
i said "aye ma.. how to fix ar..the person said i can hook it up but i have nth to hook."
mum grabs tt curtain " why did u buy this? look it.. u cant hook.. u need alot of things to get it done.. why did u buy? u cant even hook this kind...i've told u already... why cant u listen????"
i "tt person said it's 2-way.. means if i dont wanna hook, i can slot it into the bar.. but i cant find where to slot.. "
mum threw it back at me.. "how can slot?? u tell me la! there's not even a hole for u to slot.. spend so much... i could have made u a curtain in just a few dollars..yet u wanna spend so much on it.. There's so much things for u to do..you dont wanna work and look at your table ..forever so messed up u dont wanna fix..and now you're doin this damn curtain.. "
i "wat u meant by i didnt work?? havent i work enough? i just want a curtain tt's all.. if u dont know how to fix it..u dont have to be that fierce.."
mum" wat fierce? talking to u, u said i'm fierce.. i then dont wanna talk to u..no respect.."...goes on her nagging...and slamming watever she passes by..
i "keep quiet ... i said keep quiet!!"
mum "shout again la! u dare u shout again la!!! i'll fix u.."
i "long ago i already knew u dont feel like speaking to me already.. i tried with my nicest attitude to speak to u and you kept picking on me... u dont show respect to me.. neither will i.."
mum "WAT U SAY?!!!" and nagggggssss and cusss.....

i grabbed the whole curtain and slammed the door.. and ran out to the shop nearby.. to ask for assisstance on how to fix the curtian up.. was really relieved tt the lady was nice and patience.. all i need was just a packet of hook for $1..

i walked home happily and fixed the curtain up immediately.. it's nice ^^ as for mum, she stopped her DAMN NAGGING.

********************************************************************************
and wat's my point of blogging? i've realised recently everyone has been concentrating so much on finding faults..instead of concentrating on solving the problem.. they push the blame to anyone who is closest to the problem... everyone were so into fiinding faults that leads to so much misunderstandings..instead of solving it together..

the above is a really good example... yes..she said she wanted to make one for me..but based on her likings..not mine. furthermore..she has infections on her fingers and she's so damn busy with her own things every now and then to be even bothered with me..i've been saying i want a curtain for sooo long.. and she wouldnt even be bothered to listen to how i want my curtain to be like..she just want it her own way... she starts shouting at me if i dont really like her way.. no giving in at all... she wants my curtain to be pulled up but i want it to be tied sideways.. that's so much difference! it would be easier if it's just about the prints on the curtain..

another example was during work.. the last day at scholl..we were asked to "kill" the remaining shoes coz there were some mini faults with the shoes tt might spoil scholl's reputation..everyone killing the shoes with excitement by cutting and disfiguring it.. we are allowed to take them if we come across a pair which are still good.. so a young lady found a rather matching heels and let one of my closest colleage to try.. she took of one side and tried.. and very quickly she found her own sandals missing! she immediately point her finger at me.. "you! it must be you!" wth....i tried my very best to assure her it wasnt me! she said i'm sitting nearest to her.. but come on la.. how far can others be..? just then an uncle innocently admit tt he thinks he's the one.. he said he'll just kill any shoes he sees.. he didnt know and was sorry... true enough.. the sandals was cut into 2, thrown into the box..

see! it wasnt me i swear.. but so wat? if we could have saved our breathe and look for the sandals instead.. we could have saved it.. maybe while she was pin-pointing at me.. the sandals were still doing fine.. anyway.. she gained 4 matching pairs of comfy heels coincidently ^^

hai..

guess we'll nv talk again

2007-09-11T00:55:00.000+08:00

Guess we'll nv talk again..

u choose to speak to me through blogs..
where outsiders can invade..
u chose not to speak to me, face-to-face..

we're goin back to the past tt happened yrs back..
when u first turned your back on me..
this is the second time u turn your back on me..

now u choose to define what is "best" friend..
when i thought u were one of the closest to my heart..

u choose to talk abt self-centeredness..
when it was all abt sincerity..

凡事留一线以后好见面

but No.
u chose the harder way..
u probably want to end it..

u're probably feeling troubled now..
while i'm in pain..

i wish i could carry your smile in my heart..
but i guess there isn't any now..

i guess we'll nv talk again..not even after 5.

coping with BU

2007-02-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

hey i found this amazing website.. http://www.breakinguptips.com/index.php/21
how to cope with break up.. haa.. funny i still bother to go find out stuff like this in such a mood.. the pain seems deep-rooted..

first of all.. this website taught me.. "A healthy way to work through your feelings is by writing about the break up and the way you feel during the healing period."

i broke up with him thru msn..yes..i still love him..i know he doesnt..even if he does..there's no way i can ever feel it..

next is.. "Get a journal and write down what you have learned from the relationship, about yourself, relationships, and life. "

i've learnt not to take things for granted..not to take HIM for granted.. i've learnt that no matter how hard i try to change things.. they'll still get back to square one one fine day.. understand tt not everyone can accept me..(his parents).. lastly... i know tt at least i've loved someone..that's him.. And one more thing.. wat comes around goes around.. it's alwys happening to me.

ok.. so wat's next? "Even though many people may disagree, it works if you cry one good time, to get all of your emotions out. People get stressed because they bottle their emotions. ".. i agree.. looks like it's raining tonight over here on my bed. haa..

i just want you to know i really love you. deep down in my heart..i know i've once loved you coz you really did touch my heart.. i'm not sure if ending is right..i can see you cant be bothered..just entertaining me.. i hope you can get a girl that's sooooo much better than me...

i know you've loved me too..it somehow just ended..just tt you didnt know..

2006-11-26T08:23:00.000+08:00

To you i'm useless coz i cry..but to me.. it's just a way for me to express..i cry because you've reached into my heart and you either broke it or healed it. And yes..maybe i'm useless for not being strong enough to protect it..I want you to know that each time you heal it..i can withstand the 10th time you've broke it.. To me.. Loving someone is about giving my heart out and trusting him not to break it. But wat happens after that 10th time..and you didnt heal it.. I would like you to know it's terrible..i cry, again. silly.. lol
which girlfriend will be clapping with joy if their boy is going for clubbing? and the girl had no comments..no means to stop him from goin..coz she knew that he has to go as it's his friend's bd.
how does the girl feels when she wakes up every hour hoping to receive the news that he's back. He calls at 4plus..to say good night to her..but why is she crying from the moment she wakes up till now?

lost 45 dollars!

2006-10-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

SHOOOO AWAY MY SUAYNESS!!!! SHOOOO
SHooo............................................... KA PUI!

i want a dog

2006-09-11T23:24:00.000+08:00

suddenly have a urge to adopt a pet dog...i feel so lonely...i feel like i'm nth..dont know if it's becoz he's not here or.. i'm really nth.. these few days i've been saying sian...really very sian lor..... so stress in work,home and studies...i feel like i'm nobody... i'm aging... getting ugly.. =(

i wish i can understand everything and everyone..i hope i can just accept him, his environment..his attitude..or in short.. everyting about him. am i making things hard for myself...? why cant i just understand him and just close one eye at those details that went wrong...

or.. why am i here? for wat? to learn how to care for everyone? for wat? i'm glad to be a plant.. or turn me into a pen or something.. why human? am i being ungrateful? maybe god should just turn me into a handphone or something..something without emotion or feelings..then i wouldnt be here whinning about why am i here in the first place..

why? why create human in the first place? quite a torture..

hai....

2006-07-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

today after having a talk with my mother... i start to realise and believe his family doesnt like me..... wat is there for them to pick on me? at least i'm not rude, i show manners, i dont smoke and rink, i study..i wash all bowls and plates after eating..., i greet them... i still go hunt present for her mother's bd.... i keep trying trying.......why.....

my rabbit is still missing... so many food waiting for him to eat.....

it hurts.... it seems like i'm taking it alone..... he's just too tired to heal me... is he trying? i dont know... wat if he isnt?

how long can i hold on..?

from queenstown to amk..

2006-07-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

today... alot of things happened la.... got time then tell gwen bah... the title of this entry will be about how my heart bleed from queenstown to amk. haha. hai.... pain pain pain. but he said he'll pu chang wo on saturday... i'll see to it.

---

2006-07-12T18:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel so left out.... i've planned all my time for him... he doesnt want them...

can you imagine? it's like you're willing to sacrifice your life for him but actually he dont want it. He doesnt want it not becoz it hurts him for me to suffer.. it's simply becoz he j u s t d o n t n e e d i t.

it's funny when sometimes i understand and out of the sudden that little corner of my heart start to ache..and tears flow..

each time i get upset and i feel that he is so o u t o f r e a c h... my heart grows weaker. It looks like glass.. but as thin as a paper. It's like anyone who crosses my path can crash them very easily.

I wanna be tough. Touch enough to guide everyone, make everyone happy. But i realise my battery is him. Without my battery, i just cant work!

I need a solar panel sooner or later coz my battery is so out of my touch.

=(

2006-07-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

What hurt me most today.....
is i realised that he dont need my concern...
how i wish i could just mind my own business...

i admit i'm lonely... and becoz of that.. i care for others so that they can do the same.. obviously things didnt go my way.. that's why i'm here...

i failed myself today. i cried again. fail fail fail...

wish my heart wont hurt tt much.. wish i could clear that lump in my throat...

everytime i pray... i pray for everyone to be happy...

Who would pray for me?

=(

2006-07-02T09:25:00.000+08:00

i cried again.....

i feel so bottled up

who can help ...?

i think only i can help myself...

dont wish to hurt again

UPDATES

2006-06-24T19:52:00.000+08:00

I'm Back. After not blogging for a year? Just wanna do some small updates to those who actually still come and see... which is..... 1 out of 1000. i'm currently studying in TP, the course of my name is damn long and cute, Intelligent Building technology. I've got a bf.... whom i can nv see through him. Someone whom i really dont know wat's his thinking.. He seldom say how much i meant to him and even if i asked him.. he will say dont know.. Coz of tt.. and with my impatient characteristic.. we argued. STILL, i still dont know wat's he thinking. haha. Many times i've thought of leaving.. COME ON just LEAVE HIM!!!

The happiest thing is... He still want me by his side.

I love you.

Yeah, 1 more thing. I'm left with 1 rabbit. my one and only BAO BEI. The other one died. Ok, i'm hungry. BB

primary sch journal

2005-03-10T22:29:00.000+08:00

hehe! share with you some interesting things. My primary sch journal.

My HaPpIesT mOmeNt:
My happiest moment was when my father bought my two rabbits last year. When he bought the rabbits, they were considered quite grown-up but they seldom eat. When I bought them home, my mother was angry and did not allow me to keep. I kept saying I will take care of them and at last she allow.

My SaDdEsT mOmEnt:
My sad moment was when my parents scold me unreasonably. There was one time I wanted to clear away my rabbit's waste, then my father scolded me, "Do your homework. Everytime only know how to play with your smelly rabbits." Then, my mother come out and nagged, "Why you alwys never clear your rabbit's waste? Buy rabbits for you, you dont bother about it. Next time don't buy any pet for you anymore!"

lOL...

A sweet night!*

2005-03-03T09:58:00.000+08:00

WOOOOSSSSHHHH.......... let me recalll...... *mi ni ma ni...* It was... yesterday's yeaterday's night.. Tuesday night yeah! We stayed overnight at ah gwen's well-decorated house! WE? me and nana and gwen+++

Due to last min call from sch, nana had to go to sch and ah gwen's house first.. Before that, very earlier on, i've msg gwen at msn that we'll be coming but she didnt reply. Then nana told me to go gwen's house when i'm ready. I invited nana to my house to eat dinner but it was inconvenience for her. While eating crabs, *ahem.. not craps*... my mother started suan-ing me...

She asked me why did i alwys go her house. I said it's very cosy and nice to sleep and i said "but gwen nv reply me".. M.mother said maybe she dont want me to come coz too many pple.. Then i said "no wat... gwen alwys like to invite many pple to her house.. she wont mind." then my mother said "maybe she only wants nana to go.... not you.. coz you've been there so many times.. You see.. till now, not even a call from single of them... If they dont call, dont go." I was like.... so sad.. coz it's true they didnt call...

Just then, my savior! nana called me~ hahaha~! hengggg.........

After eating crabs, i went there. They were watching anime in the room. The atmosphere was damn funny. Nana sat on the floor like a very lost student watching that happy ah gwen watching that cartoon. HaHa..

After that, we watched channel8 drama series together and PI LI HUO. The whole show sucks man..... !@#$%^&*()_ ESP THE LI ZHEN XIAN.

Then me and gwen started playing com... CONQUER! i love it! Gwen kept suan-ing nana that she has got nth to do and nana wanted to go home. NOTTI GWEN! nah... gwen then pulled her back in the end. We can nv do without each other. Nana watched me play and obviously i wasn't good at it. Then a player proposed to me and i got married! Nana then forced me to tell that guy "till death do us apart!" WAH LAU...... I was blushing man!! But i still said that and we were laughing like flower idiots. But my hubby is nice! Although i prefer the other type of player but i cant alwys get a nice player. Right? as in.. friendly and helpful etc.

It was 1 to 2, little nana was snoring away on the soft mattress and blankie. I went in to peep.. All i thought was... "omg.. NO SPACE FOR ME. OMG... she took all the blankie!" Can you imagine, she slept with her hands and legs out-stretched! and the blankie coiled around her. zzz... and it's also obvious that i hav to share with her and look at that pig! haha~

I continued my game, gained a lvl or two. Soon, it was 5pm. Woah.. Second time though. Gwen pushed me to sleep. ZZZ.. When we went in, i was talking to nana and i hoped she didnt here me. Who knows, after we off the light, gwen was talking about that night i sleep-talked.. Nana bursted out laughing. -.- Then we disturbed each other till around 5.30.. Gwen was really good at it. LoL. She threw octopus on me, put her hand closed to my face and i said, one more time i'm gonna chew it. HAHA!

Phew.... wat a day.

stretchhhhh

2005-02-15T15:52:00.000+08:00

*stRrrrrrEEeetccccchhhhh* oh my god.... i've been aching here and there for soooo long... i body feels like a stone... i have problem stretchhing here and there... like some mummies.... lOL~

hmmm... yesterday's valentine's day... How did a spend it? i was gossipping the whole day with my colleages.. laughing inside out... and wanted to meet jolene after work.. but too sad.. she can't turn up.. a bit disappointing la.. but she dont mean it. Jolene owe me once ar~ Then i went to macdonalds, bought fishburger meal and had them at ah gwen's house.. it was too late by then and i decided to stay overnight.

Gwen taught me to play a game and i was kind of addicted to it already.. Woke up in the afternoon and continued playing for a little while and my mum was chasing me home. *arghhh* tired la...

*strreeetccccchhh* ouch.... i really feel like a stone...

will we meet again?

2005-01-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

( i know you've returned....)

I don't know how or.. where to start..

we're just FalLIng ApaRt

don't worry..

I promise...
It's for the better*

i don't need your lies...

baby, i've been trying too hard...

i don't know why,

i still can't see who you are..*

killer wave...

2005-01-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

the cause of tsunami
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1104621011463&call_pageid=970599119419

banners

2004-12-16T10:51:00.000+08:00

haiyah.... don't know where to put the banners.. My blog seemed full enough.. LoL~

ouch!

2004-12-15T11:47:00.000+08:00

don't speak~ i know wat you're saying.. So pls stop explaining.. Don't tell me coz it hurts.... Don't speak~ i know wat you're thinking.. i don't need your reason.. don't tell me coz it hurts.. i know you're good... i know you're real good..

HAIYOOO... I simply fell down in the c.h.i.j.m.e.s church yesterday.. *OUCH* Just some skin injuries and orh bak kah. lol!! It's only one or two steps down and yet i couldnt make it.. I still hav the time to think if i were to put my bag in front before i fall... That's so weird... Amazingly.. i didnt cry coz i took quite long to feel the pain.

Hope tt i'll hav a speedy recovery! So that i can go for more sickening interviews..

wat i wanna say..

2004-12-11T01:33:00.000+08:00

You are a Siamese! You are fun-loving, playful,
energetic, talkative, and exotic. You are the
center of attention and you love every minute
of it.

What breed of cat are you?
brought to you by QUIZILLA

Hurt. Someone has hurt you badly and though you
won't show it, it has left you a hollow shell.
You are simply pretending to exist.

What's" on the inside?
brought to you by QUIZILLA

You are almost a sister/brother to your best
friend(if already aren't), you have a very
special friendship...You're nice and loyal.
That's really nice, you are a life-time friend!

What kind of friend are you?(anime pics)
brought to you by QUIZILLA

half-dead

2004-12-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

i'm so sad.... i cant believe tt my friend find me such a nuisance....

They think wat i speak is all craps.... I really feel like telling them it isn't.... I can't believe they can be as hurting as they can be.... why must they do this to me.... i alwys meant wat i said.... regardless if it's funny or not.... I'm at home... no one to talk to... I know i've got them~ but... they dont seem to appreciate me... alwys telling me their point of views... Of course... my opinion... my say.. is alwys nth to them...

So many interviews.... all disappointing ones... Thank them for accompanying me.... I may complain.... but cant they tell i'm really upset... i'm close to breakdown and cry... I cant just tell them "i'm so sad.." I just complain... If i give them a pathetic look.... they dont like it either... neither will they console me...

SO many interviews... they didnt support me... It's all up to myself to tell myself not to give up.... I really tired my best... take initiative.... Why can't they say something nice to me..... Why are they alwys so hurting.... I alwys listen to their problems... but they didnt.... I just cried every night... praying tt i'm strong... not to be so sensitive about them.... but can't they just thought about how i feel.....

I'm left alone now.... My parents dont support me... only tell me find again... My friend... they dont like to listen to my sadness... in fact.. they dont even like me talking... Sometimes they just walk away as if i'm not there....

It's so hard for me to breathe.... I was happy at first and even put in my friendster saying about them.... yar... i know they are true... alwys.... but each day... i get more hurt than ever...

the necklace i admire

2004-12-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

Blue Marine

2004-12-01T10:42:00.000+08:00

morning! i seemed to love that pic frm that quiz. Blue marine~! but i don think i've seen this brand anywhere... maybe it's somewhere in the "high-class" and ex shop. I don't really like blue.. but i really like the blue from the Blue marine. Feels so warm. lOL.

Erm.... all this while, i've been thrgouh several UNSUCCESSFUL interviews, regardless, it's through the phone or walk-in ones. ARGH. But i'm not gonna give up.. coz now it's still early. So envy those who found a job.

I'm still waiting for christmas and already bought myself A decoration. Ya... ONE deco. lOL.

fashion quizzz that fits

2004-11-20T11:45:00.000+08:00

Bluemarine: Soft and subtle and definately
feminine. You are classy and cute with a
little girl all grown up appeal.

What fashion designer fits you
brought to you by Quizilla

DUMB GAL

2004-11-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhh..... all this time... i've been looking through friendster and the testimonials. I REALLY envy those who wrote testi to their bf etc. soooooo.... how to say...... so touching.....

Although they sounded abit mushy... that i had goosebumps(donno how to spell) while reading... but i can feel the sincerity in it... I can't believe they have such a great time together and there are many, i really meant MANY, things they can do which i just can't.... hen xian mu..... i'm just curious to find out wat couples do when they are together. I just feel so uneasy which i don understand why....... *sigh*... Only if i'm able to know how to react to situations... I admit sometimes i'm just totally dumb and this makes pple i like so irritated being with me...

Do you all know wat i meant..??

rainnig on maple leaves

2004-11-15T17:55:00.001+08:00

rain on me

2004-11-14T13:33:00.000+08:00

it's rainning on me..... can't you see....

retrenched...

2004-11-13T17:45:00.000+08:00

ok......... i don think that i'm selected for the job..... i'm just too inexperienced. The feeling was like i've been retrenched or something. lOL. i need time to get over itttttt.

love.

2004-11-12T08:26:00.000+08:00

1. What u do if u never get see sumone u like?` i'll sms
2. If u got the chance 2 tell the guy/girl that u like him/her, would u tell him/her? ` Maybe NV
3. If the guy/girl u like already have sumone else in mind, wat would u do? ` i'll look for someone else. -.-! lOL
4. Would u rather like sumone who likes u or sumone who u like?? `i'll like the one i like but choose the one who likes me.
5. Would u wait for the guy/girl who u like very much to change his/her mind? ` maybe no... i'll just ponder..
6. Do u think love is like a dream? yar.. but it still has its reality side.
7. Would u rather prefer to stay sumwhere near the guy/girl u like n look at him/her or rather go up to him/her n talk to him/her? ` ermmm... of course stay somewhere near. coz i'll stumble over my words if i talk to him.
8. If u were to see him/her at the street, would u go up n say hello to him/her? ` no! i'll run for my life. lOL..
9. If him/her had a fight outside & he's in boys/gers home now, will u wait for him/her?` depends
10. Wat if him/her suddenly disappear in this world, wat would u do?` i'll disappear too! hahaha. no la. i'll just search for him.
11. Wat if 1day ur ex, he/she come back to u? Wat will u do?` maybe i wont.. accept.. at the same time think that the world is fair. LOL.
12. Do love really hurts?` yesh.... the more you think.. the worse it is. so..it's better that we dont sink in too deep...

ah gwen's birthday!

2004-11-11T09:12:00.000+08:00

hoho.... didn't remember today was a holiday. Today's is ah gwen's birthday!!

Helping my father draw something in the com. It's a diagram from the JTC about the operation of the things there. I really feel that drawing on a paper is still much much much more easier than on the com. Coz i can't visualize well. In the com, i can't draw as accurately and i thought that pple wont notice the little mistakes but i was wrong. It became more obviousss. Such work can take about 10 hrs. aaahhh... But of course there's a pay. As in "salary". For at least more than $30 . GOOD?

So... I just spend most of my time drawing... visualizing... estimating.... clicking all the way. Haha. My eye sight had worsen a little... I hope i'm still able to survive without specs.

Happy birthday Happy Deepavali Happy Day

sighs....

2004-11-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

i hope that the last sigh i hav just now can blow the troubles i felt away..

101th

2004-11-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

this is my 101th post. *throws confetti* Those who sees this entry, tag me hao bu hao. Congratulate me. Haha. -every little thing keeps me happy- =)

I know i don blog everyday. I've got so much things to say. And it became hard for me to write them down. Too much ideas. I'll try as hard as possible to not turn my blog into a sad one.

I know i alwys think too hard to get the things i want. Wat i meant by thinking was.. i don try hard to get but i kept thinking of it. I know i must understand... that...wat i want isn't wat i NEED.. Wat i NEED isn't alwys coming to me. -.- Sighing only chases my angels away.

I also alwys try hard to look as good as possible.. For those who don't notice, *argh* tt means i haven't succeed. LOL. Dont tell me looks aren't important coz it is. This society is programmed in a way that those who didn't know you judge you by your look first or MOST of the time. Why care about wat they think? Of course it's alwys better for someone to think nice about you rather than thinking you're some bitter-gourd face. Keke.

Today i saw sze ting. She dyed most of her fringe bright PINK and poke a ring on the middle of her bottom lip. Yalah, i admit she looked cool. lOl. but i thought.... actually nth. Maybe it's just the things she wanna do and not about trying to outstand others in terms of looks.

OK! That's the end of the lesson on damn LOOKS. haha. Recently, i've seen a very NICE necklace in a magazine, from a shop called risis or something. SO niceee. That pedant represents peace. very nice. I'll think of buying it in future coz it cost $88. still ok la.. but i don even hav half of the money now. Lol. http://www.risis.com

thinking of you.

2004-10-31T10:50:00.000+08:00

If I take the letters " H, R , T"

I can add a " E & A" to get a "Heart"

Or a " U" and get "HURT"

But I'd rather choose "U"

And possibly get "HURT"

Than have a "Heart", without "U".

ahhhh choooo

2004-10-29T13:49:00.000+08:00

uh oh..... *ahhhh chooooooo* Lol.

Afterwards when i go tuition... the idiots sitting right at the back better not "bully" me............... Coz i remember the phrase "crying is blackmail" HoHO. I'll blackmail themmmm. *ahhh chooooo*

My bus ride better be safe and sound.. Lol!! *ahhhh chooooo* Goin for a tiny nap now. Zzzz.... I have to tolerate for 2 1/2 hrs of chinese lesson.

*ahhhhh chooooooo*

evil test

2004-10-23T21:10:00.000+08:00

I am 23% evil.

I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

forgotten! damn bus-ride

2004-10-23T11:33:00.000+08:00

oh my god....... another hell bus ride.... ARGH. It alwys happened when i'm in a good mooooood.!!!

i happily got up the double-decker bus no.76. Went to the top floor and almost fell on the stairs. *ahem* lOl. like tt still nvm. I found a place to sit and was so gladly watching "daddy's gal". My favourite seriesss. I laughed all the way till it ended. There was no one at the top floor le. When i'm about to reach the last stop, i'm prepared to go down.

I don wanna let pple know i'm kiasu mah and i was also hoping that no one(except bus-driver_) will notice me when i get down the stairs. I thought alot of pple were downstairs. To my surprise, no one was left except me and bus-driver.

As there were too much buses crowding at the last stop, i realised the bus-driver drove away. Then i thought he was bringing me to somewhere else to stop. By the time, i was already standing at the door le. I wanted to scan card, but that machine was off!! I just stood there, feeling a bit worried as the bus went a big round away.

Sadly, the bus-driver was parking the bus already! I was like, panick! I seldom take bus by myself. I thought it was when there's only one person left, the bus will hav to park first or something. STILL, the door didn't opened. I kept looking at the bus-driver. ARGH. When he was about to leave his seat, he saw me and got shocked.

AH HUH! I realised that bus-driver forgotten meeeeeeeee. HOW COULD HE FORGET ME. I'm so "huge" standing there and he didnt realise ttttt??? And made me panick. I ccan't handle stress i admit. argghh. Then he quickly press that damn button and let me out.

I felt as though i'm in a deserted parking place. So many HUGE buses around me and i donno how to cross. Just then, i saw another bus-uncle cross, then i also cross. Then that bus-uncle say "gal ah!! you dont take the bus from here.... is there~~~" Then i was like...... -.-

I almost wanted to cryyyy. (i'm a cry-baby i know..) Then i quickly call big-flabby(olivia_) lOl. I think she was out of words toooo. Lol.

So i say... Don leave me alone... I donno wat kind of weird things will happennnn and i defiinitly can't handle it.

hell ride.

2004-10-21T18:34:00.000+08:00

haiyoooo..... today i had a horrible bus ride....!

in the morning, i went to ICA building to make passport together with my mother. Then, we went toa Payoh to have lunch. I was supposed to go home myself as my mother needed to go back red hill to work. I finnaly found the bus 88 stand. I'm short-shighted for your info. very difficult to see! ANyway, i was in a good mood as i saw Brian wong and some other Mediacorp stuff playing the donno wat street game. You know wat game? They hav to carry a very big question mark along with them tt one. Brian wong looks a bit fat, donno to call that muscular or wat. Cant' differentiate.

I happily got up the bus, found a place to sit, waiting for the bus to move. SUDDENLY, a little boy popped out from nowhere and jumped onto a sit beside me.It's really a little boy in uniform,(white top; blue bottom), i think pri 1-3 only!!! Then i sort of gave it a smile. Trying to be nice ok! but the bus was sOOOOOOO empty. So many seats, must choose me. Like that still nvm! He kept shifting close to me. I shift, he shift. It's not as if the bus was packed. Then i was thinking maybe he just needed someone "mature" to guide him. When i sms gwen about it, he kept looking at me, my hp. His bag looked very old, the strap looked abit torn.

On the way, he kept shiftign, i kept shifting. Suddenly!!, he blew my hair!!!! i looked at him, he laughed. oh my god..... i was so...donno wat kind of emotion. Further more, i drank too much water and needed to go toilet badly. Wah.. it was like hell... Later on, the bus grew crouwded. Then the boy dug his nose. I was so damn afraid he would wipe iit on meeee. Then i shifted, he shifted and looked at me. He kept pussing(watever) his lips. He's so SMALL, and i looked so FAT and yet he's still squeezing me. Very malu lexxxx. In the end he blew his nose into the air, i can feel a little droplet landed on my lap. ARGH. Then he placed his hand right next to my lap, sometimes stretching for nth~~

I decided to lean forward, he then placed his hand behind me, not on me. As though i'm her gf like ttttt. When i wanna relax alittle, i would touch his hand and i would jump up. I sort of like hinted him to remove his hand, but the more he looked at me............ ARGH.

Finally i reached my stop, he refused to give way. Luckily he was skinny enough.. I forced my way through and almost sat on him...... I was hoping someone could helppppp. can't they see i donno this boy!!! It's more like harrassing me...

munching all the way.. just wanna lose the pain...

2004-10-20T15:55:00.000+08:00

ermmmm... i've been munching all day long. I kept losing my appetitide recently i think i ate the wrong food. lOl.. munching poky after eating potato chips.. no matter how much a munch... the feelings just wont go away...

and many of my "friends" kept sending me sms saying to pass down to 10 pple otherwise i wont score. wah lau....... is that wat they really WANT HUH! I admit i believe in that. but i couldnt just pass it to others making others worry. SELFISH friends.. send la! send as much as you want!!!!! i'll make sure the sms goes the reverse way..........

actually it hurts alot..

2004-10-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

my favourite animals... welcoming each other by sniffing. cute.

enjoy this bloody world

2004-10-19T11:31:00.000+08:00

morning! how's your morning? my morning is nice and refreshing~ I think my mother knows i'm too relaxed le and sort of nag at me just now. lOl. true la.. sometimes i needed someone to scold.. then i will work hard.. but the problem is, i'm not gonna like the perosn who scolded me. lOl. i'm contradicting.

i hav to pull myself together... i realise.. ai qing bing bu shi sheng huo li quan bu de shi qing. took it from a song. i donno why i'm alwys so bothered by such things. i should "na de qi, fang de xia." i watch the "shi quan shi mei" show hor, then a woman took a wedding gown to test on... but she had a lot of problem zipping the zip at the bag. Just then, a phrase came out "na de qi..., jiu yao chuan de xia" true hor.. I think that woman is goin on a diet. KekE.

i'd pray that everyone can be happy everyday. Although i don like the life on this irritating earth, it's alwys better to be happy instead of being sad, depressed or mad at every single thing around us.

it's ok.

2004-10-17T13:43:00.000+08:00

yeah........ sob...

2004-10-16T11:37:00.000+08:00

morinng~ i've got many things to do today. not goin out.
let's study !!!

new updates. idiot Long zoo snake

2004-10-13T14:29:00.000+08:00

whoshhhh..!! Today's maths lesson was stressful mannnnnn. that very-flabby was so stresssed and i got worried and i got stress too! Is she tryign too hard??? so scary. lOl

anyway. new updatesss~ Earth is most-flabby, olivia is big-flabby, and me..... very-flabby. LOVL (laugh out very loud)

that LONG ZOO SNAKE is such a nusiance. PUI! i wannted to tag and fight for johnathon. but i was lost at words. Coz i know NTH will wake him up. lOl. He don even know that he's still dreaming away. He's not a friend ok, so, stop dreaming for those he calls friend. he's just like a big bear going around telling pple how "wei qu" he is.. oh yeahhhhh..... he's so "wei qu" lor. "mei you na mo da de dou, jiu bu yao dai na mo da de mao ziiii....." KNOW ANOT. huh~!

my darlings

2004-10-10T10:42:00.000+08:00

this morning my white rabbit look blur blur de.... both eyes mimi de..... nv move around, nv eat, nv drink. for a while lie, for a while sit then lie down again...... very blur blur... when you touch him, he will sort of sleep and nv open eyes.

that brown seemed super active instead. When i fed white cabbage, brown white finished them instead. I tried forcing the food to white but still refused to eat.. was it becoz of the throat, or the stomach or wat.

going tuition later.... i hope later when i'm back, it'll be all right. it better be.

qianqian stresssss

2004-10-07T17:13:00.000+08:00

erm.... help. ahhhhhh........ help. i'm sadddddd. Let's start early in the morning.

woke up and go to school. supposed to wake my father up but i didnt he's working at JCT today. in the end i walked to school myself. Then, i had to decide if i wanna go for chinese. That chinese teacher alwys give me so much stress..... Everytime i enter, she'll start questioning. If i can't give a complete ans.., she'll just try hard to force me. i'll just panick and she's happy. whole 4/7 will just watcht the way i ans.

in the end, i still didnt go. lOl. I went to the back and sat with beatrice to do maths wksht. the other chinese teacher came in and told the rest to keep the poker cards they're playing. come on la... just keep it. there's another group who refused to keep. The teacher waited. i know they are very "big" but sometimes.. they should treat here as a school. The teacher is quite old and so angry. Give him some respect. After he go, they still can take out to play mah.. *argh* That teacher shouted loudly again, finally, they keep. then donno why, kai quan got into fight with the 4/5. ARGH!!

I was supposed to go home and sleep. In the end i couldn't resist prsicilla's ang ku kueh and ate 3. lOl. VERY NICE. I'm so guilty that i didnt choose to believe her and bought so little. lOl. I was supposed to sleep and i suddenly woke up after 1hr +. My hrt aches... i knew somethign was gonna happened. my mths tutor and called me and told me i'll be having tuition tml night. haiz.... this is the hurting part.. I've got chinese tuition 5.30 to 7.30 and then 8 to 10. I'LL DIE! How am i suppose to hav full concentration on BOTH. somemore tml is my first time to a tuition centre like tt... I can't even handle that stress and i'm gonna hav another round of stress at home. Mths tuition is stressful becoz i really concentrate alot that i could hardly breathe. mth tuition was requested by me and thaT teacher still squeeze in a time slot jsut for me. So, i cannot let him down. chinese tuiton, i really have to listen coz i'm NOT goin for chinese lesson in school. i'm so stresssssssssssss.

and added on to the earlier problem i've been facing and trying to work hard on it. i wamma cry, but no tears lex. lol. where has the water gone??

2004-10-03T10:33:00.000+08:00

lOl. I somehow feel that my blog is a bit messy. nVm. i prefer it to be this way. Waiting for my parents to go market and come back with my roti prata. YummY!

okla ok la... i'm a bit annoyed... it seems like i've got nth else to worry except for studies and i'm making trouble for myself.. I can't do anything to pple who doesn't hav the hrt to talk to me... Coz maybe i know how it feels.. No point forcing... right..

and......

I WAN BROTHER OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!!!!

I wan him out of this house.

don worry.. i'll not call him korkor ANYMORE. i'll think of a nickname next time.

little talk

2004-10-02T08:33:00.000+08:00

morning~! i'm really typing something about my life this time. lOl. no more quizes although it's very fun. Listening to "wo.de.cuo" by b.a.d. The introduction already made me feel like crying. I'm a crying bun you see..

I think i'll just have to let go of somethings.. and wait for it to return to me if it's meant to be. I'll try not to force it... I've seen my friends trying damn hard... Yet wat they got back was some cruel words and ignorance. very sad. I know they are very sad.. though they don really show it to me.. but how could someone not be sad when the person they like call them a whore or take them too much for granted... I'm afraid to be like them. They tried so hard... through words and action.

I'm also in no position to comment. This song is so true. the guys sang well too! lOl. As i've promised someone not to get into anything until i'm in poly.. I'll have to constantly remind myself not to do it. it's a bit lame. lOl.

sweet quiz

2004-10-01T18:50:00.000+08:00

No body is perfect. I am nodody, therefore, I am
perfect...........................................................who
were your parents? Barbie and Ken? you're a
sweetheart and compassionate and maybe a little
naive but it's only the mean people that take
advantage of you're sweet nature. you make so
many people happy, your like a walking teddy
bear. willing to give someone a hug whenever
they need it. don't let others put you down
about your attitude on life.

What quote should I give you?
brought to you by

Your beauty is sweet! You are so incredibly
adorable that people love to saw how cute you
look. Beauty like yours can be characterized as
youthfullness. You probably look very young or
maybe even younger than you actually are. Your
a very timid person some of the time. (If you
can't see the pics, go to my homepage and look
near the bottom and find your result)

What kind of Beauty should you have? (girl) (PICS)
brought to you by

crying quiz

2004-09-30T21:16:00.000+08:00

:: Do you cry often: - lOl. yesh.
:: Do you often cry in front of people or alone: - alone better. xiu xiu xiao
:: Have your friends ever seen you cry: - definitely
:: Have you cried today: - noo
:: Do you usually cry for a long time: - haha. yar, like a tap
:: Do you get really red when you cry: - depends
:: Have you ever cried because you were happy: - no la
:: Have you ever been someone's crying shoulder? - i don wan my sleeves to be wet. lOl
:: Have you ever hugged someone because they were crying: - nooo. dare not.
:: Have you ever had a shoulder to cry on: - my booster??
:: Have you been hugged when you cried: - my booster again
:: Do you cry during sad movies: - nO
:: Do you cry while reading books: - No
:: Does music make you cry? - YEs
:: Have you ever been called a cry baby: - lOl. yar. my papa and mama says that. They said i'm a watermelon.
:: Have you ever tried to stop yourself from crying: - yesh! *pinch my nose hard* maybe that's the switch..
:: Have you ever cried in front of a teacher: - yesh, for being dishonest
:: Does this survey make you want to cry?: - havent yet
:: Have you ever cried over a guy/girl: - lOl. definitely
:: Do you cry when you are physically hurt: - LOL. yes! straight away.
:: Do you cry when you are scared: - i'll be too worried to cry.
:: Do you cry when you are mad: - YESH! that's the main cause.
:: Do you cry over bad grades?: - yealah. damn o levels chinese. i got c5
:: Have you ever cried over spilled milk: - i can't remember. I think yesh.
:: Can you make yourself cry:- depends la. just on the "tapp" can le.
:: When was the last time you cried: - donno lex.
:: Have you ever cried because you were sad for someone else: - i can't remember. should be no.
:: Do you have a favorite crying quote: - don pinch your nose when you cry. you'll nv know how much you look like a roldof(watever)
:: Have you ever cried for anyone who wouldn't cry for you: - yesh
:: Do you ever cry on anniversaries of things?: - lO. no la, very weird.
:: Do you cry over someone you love becoz they have a gf/bf? - no. too sad to cry out.
::When was the last time u felt loved and u cried? - everytime. but i din cry. just felt like.
::Who is the person you always cry for?- i cry for myself.
:: Will you cry because this survey is over: - yesh!!

Goodnight

2004-09-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

Good Night

Sweet Dreams

Zzz..

cuite quiz

2004-09-25T10:21:00.000+08:00

The LAST PERSON Who
x. Slept in your Bed: me only! if anyone else, i'll apply medicated oil on their face!
x. Saw you cry : jac~
x. You shared a drink with : priscilla, green tea lex.. ee.. but no choice, too thirsty. lOl
x. You went to the mall with : jac?
x. Yelled at you : stupid jx
x. Send you an e-maill : karen, wanxuan
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it : i forget
x. Gotten in fight with ur pet : NV! my rabbit loves me.
x. Been to California : money??
x. Been to Chinaa : nop
x. Been to Canada : nop
x. Danced naked : huH? how?
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day : won't
x. Wished you were the oppossie sex: when i got that monthly thing. ahem..
x. Had an imaginary friendss : when i was young. lOl
x. Do you have a crush on someone? : can't remember
x. What book are you reading now : enyclopedia of pets.
x. Worst feeling in the world : all bad feleings are the same
x. Future son's name : poopoo~ lol no la..
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal : no! unless i wan sore eyes.
x. What's under your bed: dust. and a mattress
x. Siblings : one brother
x. Location : amk~
x. Piercings/tattoos : one hole on each ear lobe. lol
x. Do you do drugss : yeah?? panadol counted?
x. Do you drink : no. actually yes. i stole a sip from my parents
x. Who are your bestfriends : olivia, priscilla, yvonne~
x. What clothes do you sleep in : t-shirt and aunty shorts
x. Where do you want to get married : church???
x. Who do you really hate: none
x. Are you for world peace : as in?
x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with : of course
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did : definitely
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after : no, i alwys change my mind.
x. Want someone you dont have right now : i wan a male dog! i wan sky.. =(
x. Are you lonely right now: nop. i've got my dar rabbit and parents.
x. Song that stuck in your head: running~ by no doubt
x. do you want to get married : yesh!
x. do you want kids : omg.. i wan but... that experience is horrible.
FAVORITE
x. Room in housee : my room
x. Type(s) of musicc : mix mix
x. Band(s) : s.h.e, b.a.d, energy
x. Color : natural colours
x. Perfume or cologne : perfume
x. Brand : no brand
x. Season : autumn~
THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU....
x. Cried : yeah.. coz of an idiot.
x. Bought something : a prawn cracker
x. Gotten sick : almost. so.. NV
x. Missed someone : my dar rabbit.. and sky

2004-09-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

you're disappointed with me. you think i donno.. you think i enjoy it... must you say it out... must you say it out to let me know.. so that i can get hurt about it... must you say it out so that i can feel sad with you... it iss becoz i don appear to be bothered and therefore you and your friend jumped to conclusion that you all are nth to me... must i cry like one bun, begging you, then you will forgive me...

i'm also tired you know.... i slept so much.. i still feel so tired.... you wont let me be happy right... you must let me know that i'm the worse person tt ever exist and make sure i'll hate myself izzit... you just couldn't let me off izzit.... you wan me to live in the past... like you are. you forgot how i treat you... and you'll nv forgive the disappointment i gave you.... aren't you happy about saying these to me? it's time for you to celebrate..

i really donno who's the one who's selfish.....

qianqian's song

2004-09-24T10:40:00.000+08:00

hey.. i woke up at 8am sharp today. but my clock is alwys around 7mins faster. haha. so... 7.53am lor. today i shall stay at home, sleep lots, eat lots and play lots. like somebody say.. fat lor~ jealous? hahaha.

my results.. feeling a bit scared le. didnt do well i die ar... lol. my friend.. she did a mistake.. but wasn't forgiven... i hope she is forgiven... give her a chance la...

yesterday dl a lot of songs~ very nice. got ning xia by fish leong. a very cute song but some say it sounded like nursery song. I donno if that was a compliment or an insult coz she alwys love to insult. don care her la. lOl.

if got time i'll come back and blog.

life quiz

2004-09-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

1. What do you think of life? unpredictable AND, i waste of time
2. Do you think life rulez? NO.
3. Do you think life suckz? no, it's just a waste of time!
4. Do you want to change your life if you can? waste of time too..
5. Why? coz everything are bound to be messed up.
6. Do you have a happy or sad life? acceptable.
7. Do you believe in past life? lol. sometimes when i'm angry
8. Do you believe in fate and destiny? none.
9. Do you believe in angels, fairies ? erm.. angels.
10. Do you believe in god? yes, when i'm in trouble. lol. ling shi bao fuo jiao
11. Do you believe in true love? donno
12. Do you experience before? don no
13. Do you experience love at first sight? like-at-first-sight, yes. haha..
14. Do you believe in true love? nv.
15. Do you think love is a must in life? yar.. coz i love animals
16. Do you think love hurts? yeah. alwys
17. Do you think a relationship is always happy? no la.
18. Have you been hurt in love? donno lex.
19. What do you think of people who kill themselves because of love? they are sort of brave to leave the world FAST. it's really a waste of time here. i'm alwys stuck in thie world.
20. Do you think all relationships have happy ending? yar
21. Do you think that boys are the ones that always hurt the girls? no. guys are weaker than gals.
22. Do you have a dream? yesh, to snorkle. simple ?
23. Do you hope your dream comes true? of coursee
24. Do you believe in all fairy tales with happy endings? no
25. Do you wish to be the cinderella?[if you can be a girl if you are a guy] if i can choose between leaving here and being cinderella, i'll leave. waste of time here.
26. Do you wish to be the sleeping beauty? don wan. another way of wasting time.
27. Do you think you can have a happy ending? erm... i'll make it yes if it isnt.
28. Do sad songs make you cry? yeshh
29. Love is the greatest. Do you agree? yeshh
30. Will you choose to love if you can? choose to love animals and not human, except my parents and friends~ yeah!!

2004-09-15T18:18:00.000+08:00

oooooo. drizzled a bit here then stopped. Shouldn't have rushed my rabbits back to the small cage. the ratio of the mass of my rabbits to the mass of space in the cage is 3:4. LOL.. fat mah... can't help it.

of course i wanna have a BIGGER cage. but.. too ex lex.. My father has made many cages for rabbit before buying an original one.. Maybe we're gonna design a new and spacious cage. you xin wu li. hehe...

i used to bully my friends when i was in pri school. I'm really very bad you know.. My friends at that time are damn faithful to me... yet, i'm like really very mean. i remembered i used to have everything in sch, i mean stationary. then my best friend only wanted to share with me the red colour pencil for marking. She asked me very politely then i gave her a very very irritated look. then i threw her the colour pencil.. Then sometime when she only ask me qns, then i will say "what....????" then she alwys give me that kind of "sorry sorry... don angry ok?" look. Sometimes when she's terribly sick, i did care for her. i literately left her to rot la.. haha. Wat i mean was... Our friendship was all about pleasing me only. Many times we'll write autograph for each other. then she'll sometimes draw herself and point----> the person you hate most.

Then sometimes she'll also write "you're pretty and i'm ugly. so don get angry that often ok? i know you hate me. Loke sze." haiz... i can't believe i'm still not touched by it. She's alwys there for me. I can't recall a time when she left me when i needed her. She's really great. her name is chan loke sze. Actually, she's not ugly lex... She's even prettier than me now. She just hav that mature look when she's in pri sch. I just treat her sometimes good sometimes bad that type la.. I just don like pple to alwys borrow things from me when they make an effort to bring them at all. Till now it's the same. hehe.. Then sometimes yvonne will use a very soft tone to borrow things for me.. then she'll say "wo pa ni ma wo." hahaha. i won't la.. Just tt i will give a very IRRITATED-and-PISSED-off look.

Then comes when i was in pri 6.. My friend bullied me. She's damn unreasonable (like me). lol. We were very close. Then there's another gal called alerice, she joined our group. Then sometimes we three will sit together and tok. When alerice talked more to me, chin lay will just walk away. Then when i go back to class, she say i snatch her friend.... then "alerice only like you, don like me" She'll try all means to get close to alerice(no harm tt type) but when alerice is closer to me, she'll start a cold war. Seperate table, bang things, talk to someone else etc.

WORSE STILL, when i score higher than her. she gets angry with me. I don really call that jealousy but i donno why she gets angry. She'll cry then when i try to console her, she moved away. Then ignore me for a long time. That time she got angry with me again and said "ni happy liao lar!" -.- then couldn't tolerate any longer. i start to cheer myself up by not being bothered by her ignorance. In the end she wrote a letter to me, saying "you don hav to act sad. you don have to tell jun en i'm angry with you. If you score higher than me, then say la. you also don't hav to act happy. In future, if you get higher than me, i will also not talk to you. remember, don't tell jun en i wrote this to you and don act!"

wah lau.......... kns.

but now, she's better. =) sometimes she'll talk about her problems to me etc. we both hav childish act in pri sch. lol. but it's over. i know this won't happen again.

2004-09-13T17:38:00.001+08:00

yoz! today's geog. oh my god. just that qn on tourism can "flush me down the toilet bowl". chou tourist... si tourist.

I thought i did well in emaths paper 1. in the end, haha, careless mistakes, one whole lot.

today's breakfast: two empty flat buns & lipton milk tea
lunch : a box of tibits
dinner : flat buns again & lor mai kai.

i want something more~ like.... yan wo. that'll be something nice.

2004-09-13T17:38:00.000+08:00

harlow! today's geog. oh my god. just that qn on tourism can "flush me down the toilet bowl". chou tourist... si tourist.

I thought i did well in emaths paper 1. in the end, haha, careless mistakes, one whole lot.

today's breakfast: two empty flat buns & lipton milk tea
lunch : a box of tibits
dinner : flat buns again & lor mai kai.

i want something more~ like.... yan wo. that'll be something nice.

first reaction!

2004-09-11T11:12:00.000+08:00

1.) smbody suddnly woke u up? it's either i'll become very gentle or fa pi qi
2.) Ur mOm scolded u early morning? say her back
3.) U saw ur crush feel more peaceful
4.) A cute gurl/boy accidentally bump into you? move away as fast as possible
5.) Ur crush texted u but don't have load..har?
6.) Teacher asked u 2 say somethn but udont know stare blankly at her
7.) mom saw u kissing wit ur bf/gf shit!!
8.) Saw ur bf/gf wit her/his x ask him: i'll just walk off angrily!
9.) Ur X sent a message telling u he/shestill love u tell him: aiyah.......~ he'll get over me soon
10.) Accdentally deleted all d files u jaz saved do it again tml
11.) Can't open ur friendster account nvm
12.) U lost ur fone i'll probably get killed by my mother
14.) A person u dnt like sings ur fave song try not to sing that song ever again
15.) Som1 u luv sings the song u hate most laugh all the way
16.) Ur bf/gf didn't make any testimonial to U i'll think badly of him
17.) A friend deleted the testimonial he/shemade 4 u sad.. *sob*
18.) Ur having a bad stomach wyl on a date with ur crush *oh no..*try to be as normal as usual
19.) Saw ur friend wit ur crush ohh... *sigh*
20.) Nobody wud answer dis? i won't die

2004-09-10T16:06:00.000+08:00

--wAd cOmEs tO uR miNd??--
1. [ RED ] : used to be my favourite colour
2. [ BLUE ] : the ocean
3. [ YELLOW ] : tulips
4. [ GREEN ] : grass (my rabbits love them)
5. [ PINK ] : bag
6. [ WHITE ] : poster colour
7. [ BROWN ] : slippers
8. [ BLACK ] : t-shirt
9. [ PURPLE ] : eeyore!
10. [ CRAZY ] : fun
11. [ DICTIONARY ] : thersauraus
12. [ CALENDAR ] : birthday
13. [ BED ] : comfort zone
14. [ TV ] : animal planet
15. [ CAT ] : love to be pampered
16. [ HANDPHONE ] : siemens
17. [ LOVE ] : everywhere
18. [ EYE ] : electricity
19. [ WATER ] : swimming pool!
20. [ EXAM ] : *Zzz...*
21. [ FISH ] : fish leong. hahah!
22. [ TOMATO ] : vitamin c!
23. [ SHAMPOO ] : VS sasoon
24. [ BURGER KING ] : mushroom burger. onion fries!
25. [ McDONALD ] : french fries and chili sauce
26. [ KFC ] : zinger meal
27. [ TEA ] : lipton milk tea
28. [ SOUP ] : tomato soup
29. [ CAR ] : 4 wheels
30. [ FRUIT ] : watermelon
31. [ POWER PUFF GIRLS ] : butter-cup
32. [ NESCAFE ] : coffee
33. [ AVRIL LAVIGNE ] : cool gal
35. [ SUPERSTAR ] : pretty? where's qn 34??
36. [ BURN ] : anything i've cooked
37. [ FLOWER ]: tulips. roses
38. [ TATTOO ] : the worm on my korkor's arm (it's actually a dragon)
39. [ HOLIDAY ]: christmas
40. [ BYE ] : harlow!!

qianqian's view

2004-09-10T15:44:00.000+08:00

=Name= qianqian
=Nick= money (don call me this!)
=Skool= Marymount convent then Deyi secondary
=D.O.B= 14th June1988 (obviously many forgot)
=Birthplace= Mount Avenia
=Horoscope= Gemini (split personality, changes attitude all the time.)
=Location= Ang Mo Kio
=Hp number= 9 17* ***5 (i can't even recite it in english properly)
=Status= single.
=For how long= it won't be long coz i hav my rabbit(s)!!!
=Height= that's an insult! haha.. 153cm
=Weight= 45kg
=Dialect= tiochew
=Religion= free-thinker
=Person u love= someone who is not a gal
=Person Missed= my rabbit
=LaSt=
~Person Seen~ mother!
~Message sent~ a whole group of friends
~Message received~ 00fun
~Call dialled~ 999
**************QuEsTiOnS**************
1. dO yOu GeT jEaLoUs EaSiLy?: yes!
2. wHaT hV u Been DoiN fOr tHe pasT feW daYs?: trying out ways to relax as much as possible
3.LaSt MoVieS taT u WatCh? wiTh whO?: yvonne, i can't remember
4.WhaT u gOnna dO aFteR tiS?: watch tv.
5.HaVe u cRieD BefOre?: haiyo. i almost flood my house
6.SeRioUs iN LOVe BefoRe?: no
7.wHaT iS tHe 1sT tHiNg taT coMes tO uR MiNd?: now? food!
8.FaV soNg? wHy?: pu shou by jolin. coz the song is cute and logical.
9.wHaT u pLaNNiN tO dO tiS weeKend? tryign out MORE ways to relax
11.Do YoU sMoKe?: noo.
12.aNy ppLe iN LoVe wiTh u nOw?: how i wish there is. Lol.
13.dO u pRefeR sMs oR TalkiN oN pHoNe?: sms
14.R u MissiN suM1 nOw?: yalor
15.wHaT aRe YoU dOiNg NoW?: rubbing nose
16.wHen iS tHe LaSt tiMe u ReCeiVe fLoweRs?: valentine. *muacks*
17. WoRd tO SaY bOuT u?: lazy.
18.NaMe ur gOOd fReNz.: olivia, yvonne, ching yee and many more
19.wHo u waNa kiSS nOw?: oooo! my rabbit. *muacks*
20.iN LoVe wiTh aNy1 nOw? whO?: don hav
21. peRsoN whO u wiSh tO sPeNd uR LiFe witH: a macho. lol!!!!
=IF=
~SoMeOnE eLsE liKe YoU wHeN yOu ArE aTtAcHeD~ : happy but irritated
~sOmEoNe LiKe YoUr PaRtNeR~: i won't give him any choice. lol!!
~YoUr PaRtNeR teLL yOu OfF bCoS oF tHe OtHeR pArTy~: ignore him forever! if things worsen, i'll step his toes with my pointed-shoes.
~yOuR pArTnEr DoEsN't HaVe TiMe FoR yOu WhEn YoU aSk HiM / hEr OuT~: if he's busy, it's ok. If he's not, i'll make a big deal about it.
~YoUr PaRtNeR aLwAyS liE tO yOu~: cry (crying is blackmail)

qianqian's morning

2004-09-08T09:15:00.000+08:00

yeah! i love morning. the air is fresh, cooling. if i were to choose between morning, afternoon, night. i'll choose morning! morning makes me feel healthy. yeah! don't envy me (coz i'm able to wake up early in the morning). lol! right? some of you, by the time youa ll wake up, it's like 10+ or 12+ or evening 1+. *yawnz* The world has already start working, i've already blogged, eaten, and you all just woke up and missed the fun part in the morning.

haiya! donno wat to wear to hougang. Wear too casual, i looked like kiddos/ nerd/ a kid who is going to the market. Wear too "nice", pple will think like "you've nv come to hougang before ar?" lol.! i know i don hav to care wat others think, but i need confidence mah! how how how. wear wat lex.. I have very few clothes de la... *yawnz*

I DID VERY BADLY IN MY MATHS! *ossh....* finnaly let it out. It's really quite bad you know.. From the only person who pass.. to someone who gets only 29 marks. ok. don talk about it.

let's go to my rabbits. *muaks* they are sooooo huggable although they don like hugging. so cute. Yesterday i spend 1hr+ cleaning their little cage. 1hr is still not enough man... It's really dirty. Their urine stains are everywhere. i was just squarting there, scrubbing and scrubbing on the same spot. May pple passed by, unknown neighbours, they are probably thinking i'm an aunty from the backview. Lol. There was once i was alone at home and i dressed like aunty. I wore my mother's old clothes as pyjamas. :x then i pretty gal, obviously older than me, just graduated from poly i think, went to knocked on house's door and tried to promote Walls ice-cream mah. Then when she saw me, she say... "ni hao, da jie. Yao bu shi yi xia wo men de ice-cream. Shi yi xia la, jiejie" SHe kept repeating da jie here, jiejie there. Somemore at that time, i was still 15+. Guess i really looked like aunty. lol. AYE. only i can say this to myself ar!

wah. I think i haven been writting a long enough entry. not very long la. Coz don wanna tired out those who are reading. They are probably thinking... "Am i there yet? Am i there yet?? AM I THERE YET??!!!" haha. If you've read till here. *congratulation!!*

You've reached.

2004-09-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

didn't study the whole day lex. wasted.

mmm... "try your best. and let god do the rest." well.. i think i've tried my best...(not in study of course lol) If it was meant to be.. it'll come. i shouldn't have hurry-ed. Furthermore.. things that comes quickly will go quickly. Now, all i hav to do is dig out a path for myself by entering singapore poly.

i go orh orh le. wish everyone a sweet sleep. yeah!

2004-09-04T18:57:00.000+08:00

We're trying to take it slow
But we're still losin control
And we're trying to make it work
But it still ends up the worst

Shut it up
just shut up
Shut up
Just shut up

2004-08-29T11:53:00.000+08:00

*hop hop hop* haha. trying to act cute eh, like my rabbits. SO CUTEEEE. *applause* they love to munch and munch and munch again. They are good at splashing their urine around (especially the brown and white ones). NOTTTI. they are my bao bei! *muacks muacks* The white one doesn't like me to carry it, it only like me to chase it around. Then the brown and white one loves to be pat and be praised that it is good-looking.

Got a silly secret to tell. Last time when i wanna trim the nails for them. They kept struggling. In the end i let them out and let them play till they're tired out and then they will lie flat on their tummy with their legs and hands stretching-out. At thei moment i will take out my "weapon" and start my "killing". It also struggled a bit. But wat did i do to stop it? I kept praising it. Haha. And my rabbits seemed to know wat i'm babblering about. i say... "rabbit ar.. bu yao dong hor... dong le jiu bu mei le la! see... jian liao heng mei lex..." lol. Silly but USEFUL

I know he doens't like me la... I must have been an idiot to him. ben dan.

bei dui wo xiao xing yiyi~
bie rang wo kan qing ni...

THANKS FOR ALL THOSE WHO TAG_GED. THANKS FOR NOTICING THAT IT IS NOT SPOILT AFTER ALL (earth) lol!! cute gal.

2004-08-22T16:02:00.000+08:00

You're Element is Earth. You like plants and
flowers and have a very natural looking beauty.
You are a very innocent and maybe naive person
but it's only the jerks in this world that take
advantage of you because you are a jewel in
this world of rocks. You have many friends and
they all enjoy you as much as you do them. You
are skilled with your hands and would be able
to last in a more remote home.

What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

qianqian's stress

2004-08-18T19:30:00.000+08:00

yoz. good evening

my place have been switched.. i have a feeling i'm alwys not welcomed.. haiz.. then today my punishment was to write about johnathon and johnathon was to write about me.. I took my effort to think and write about him and i didn't complain.. and on the other hand he was grumbling about nth to write about me.. then he kept asking me wat to write about myself.. haiz.. i'm sorry that you have to waste your time to write about me.. i also don wan it this way mah... further on... am i really that boring.. am i really not that welcome... sometimes pple rather sit with someone else than to sit with me.. am i that hard to communicate with.. some pple rather tok to someone else instead of me... am i really tt terrible..

guys alwys say that i'm not pretty and blah blah blah... girls alwys feel that i too blur blah blah blah... haiz... but of course i know which friend really appreciate me as wat i am. i know sometimes i'm too consious about wat pple think of me. Wat i fear had alwys come true.. pathetic.

In addition.... i'm so sleepy now. *yawn* having sore eyes somemore. lol. couldn't sleep just now. Was waiting for someone to reply me and didin't dare to sleep. in the end? NV REPLY. go die la. lol

Recently, i've been studying real hard. not very hard but at least more than before. I've got no time to think about bgr and its shitty stuff. i wan real friends. I don wan lovers tt will soon break off and no longer be friends. my pimples are giving me more stress. the more stress i get, the more pimples i have, the more pimples i have, the more stress i get. nv ending thingy. I'm studying hard for chinese and english.

I wonder how am i gonna excel in both languages on the same time. *pengz*

qianqian sob

2004-08-15T21:57:00.000+08:00

wee.. yesterday was so fun. It seemed like i like to visit water fountain? haha. Don tell you where i've been. :x

Before that, i went to sjab hq. One of my dreams has been fulfilled. I can take the lift up to the hall instead of taking the stairs. haha. I know it's kind of lame but it's very nan de ok.. The lift is small. And one of the sjab member that brought us up decided to play a prank. He switched off the light in the lift. I thought black out and screamed a bit. At the same time i felt happy as i can get to experience such situation, in the end, it wasn't. Chey. Sjab hq very funny lex. Install a light switch inside for wat....... haiyoooo. Even if it's damn sunny outside, once you're in the lift, it's a total darkness without the light mah..... lol.

During the ceremony, i saw xiao didi's friend. He's so cute. And i took a pic of him but i think he found out izzit. haha. i deleted it anyway. just wanna distract him.

My mother hadn't been nice.. She has been scolding me for no reason, she's finding a reason to scold me. but i didn't do anything wrong.. It's just tt i did badly for my chinese o... wo ye bu xiang de.. nan dao wo bu nan guo mah..?

sob sob..... has been studying very hard. I'll slowly turn into a more more toot gal, so, if there's anything new, update me hor!

If recently i accidentally flare up.. sorry lex.. don mean it. I know my face alwys black black de.. If you're not happy with it, tell me some joke and i won't show you. haha.

2004-08-11T09:01:00.000+08:00

gd morning! haiya... Have a feeling of being literately drenched. Should be used to it le ar.. aye, wat's the matter? I've alwys been doin well, even till now. My friend said that tt time when she fell in love with someone, she was hurted so much tt she even cut herself. Not very serious tt type la. Then asked her, wat's the point? why torture yourself?, there isn't even a need.., kind of useless lex.. tt's wat i asked a nd told her. but she said.. "maybe becoz you weren't deeply in love and got hurt bah.." well.. maybe this sentence struck me.

I don even know if i am in love.. or at least before.. alamak. Then why did i cry so much and etc when i'm not even in love. I feel that i'm so stupid eh. Haha.

My friend said, sometimes we used too much of our head and we forgot to use our heart. Then, wat's my heart thinking? am i really hurt? actually, seriously, nobody hurt me at all. I'm the one who feel tt that i'm being ignored tt's why i felt hurt. But i can't expect him to care every part of my feelings right.. He don even need to. Sian.. That's the trouble of liking someone. *ahem* nvm la.. such likings will get pass, and i'll get on.

******shang dao shen mo chen du, wo xin li you shu.

******the trouble with love is, it can tear you up inside
******make your heart believe a lie

******wo ke yi zhan you ni yan jing quan bu de shi xian
******zhai liang le deng de fang jian, ni de xin,
******you yi bu fen wo que kan bu jian

******zui hou.. wo men dou cuo guo
******ai guo, bu yi ding hui you jie guo
******zui hou, deng bu dao zui hou`
******ai.. ni... que you bi xiu fang shou..

HAIIII

2004-08-08T08:31:00.000+08:00

Sorry to myself for taking so long to update.. yesterday, we were supposed to go for watever sjab passing-out rehearsal. then in the end the sir said there was no need. then me, angelina, ching yee, halimag, cheryl, chuan wei, victor went for a walk at bugis and suntec and the parkway view.
We took neoprint. me lex... after taking so much neoprints, i still donno where to look. If i look at the camera, my big small eyes looked very obvious.. if i don look, i'll look very blur in the pic. lol. Angelina looked the best! Her big eyes made her looked as though she's a star. tt's wat my mother say. lol. but it's true la. Halimah, she looked very youthful, her eyes are nice too! Ching yee looked very cool. she alwys look cool. Cheryl looked very cute, very huo po. Haha. As for that victor and chuan wei... erm.. two SHY guys la.
Now... it's about something tt's in me for yrs.... sometimes the way he behaves really disgusted me.... sometimes the way he talks... touched me. But i won't fall so quickly in it... Coz i've learnt not to trust him. Talking about him is like talking about someone overseas.
Everyone's getting prettier.... I'm just a star that's not shinning at all. Not comparing who's prettier la... I just feel that sometimes.. i'm just too dull to be noticed.. Why is it so hard to mix around with pple? The next time i go to poly.. I'm dead. Hahaha. I wanna get a job in a pet shop. I prefer working with animals. Lol. Even though i have to serve customers, at least those lovely pets are there to be with me. They're the most trustable. hehe. Very cute. I wonder if those animals think of me this way anot. Lol. The most touching about animals... is that they'll alwys rather eat from your hands than from the dish.
My life has no more you... It's just all about me and my family and friends. Call that sad for me.. or happy?
watever la... I'm just contradicting now...
Haiz..

qianqian's next next

2004-08-01T17:24:00.000+08:00

Well... Finally i can come in here to type something! usingmy papa's com now. sky go back home le....... Sian... Everyday i've been mourning for him. but i won't wishfor him to come back. firstly, he's not mine and he shouldn reutrn home, not qianqian's home. Lol.i shouldn't feel sad for him coz he's a very fortunate dog. without my care, he will live his day to the fullest with his owner(he looked a lot like sky) hahaha. Tong lei.

Finally yvonne had told us wat's she been up to recently. My miserable days will be over.

Next.. I've been suspected of critising someone becoz he wears white shirt everytime. SIAO.

Next... I've bought a new pair of shoes. A proper pair. I donno how long will it take for it to be out of date. But i will like it to the best of my ability. Lol. Coz, you see.. i've alwys been at home recently, either sleeping or eating or playing or studying. I donnno wat's more fasionable out there. I bought the shoes based on my likings of it. Pple, to come right up to me and say not nice lex.. I still haven't build up my confidence in this shoe.

Next.. a bit sick. not tt serious. Sore throat although i don sound like one. lol. Many pple are ill, so, won't complain much.

I wanna owe a dog... but i don think i can bear the pain if my dog leave me....... how ar... but i would like to hav a dog. *pengz*

Lastly. HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! Although it's early but i will not know when i'm able to blog again. Be happy. Be jolly. hoho.

Qianqian's temp. DOG

2004-07-21T20:01:00.000+08:00

HEHEHEHEHEHE. My kor kor's friend left his dog here till friday. don wanna explain much details, let's get straight down to the dog. He's name is SKY!!! *cheers* OOooOOo..OOOooOOO

The disappointed thing is.... Sky wasn't used to me.. Coz i think i donno how to communicate with dogs. Argh. But this is the first time i can get near to dog without any worry. Very guai de lex.... Very cute... OoOooOo. *cheer!!* *scream* OooooooOo... Gonna miss it when sky go home....

Qianqian's sick

2004-07-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

   Hey. i'm back with a healthy mind.. but not healthy body. lol. no la, not tt bad. just a little flu. Yesterday i talked to ACw about the courses in poly. My wish is to get into the course "Creative Media Design" in Singapore Poly. And he, gladly destroyed my dream by telling me that the cut-off point is 12-14. Oh my god. Wait till i get 18 first. haha.

   He gave me some other choices alike to CMD but still told me that SP is more specialised. Yalor! but too bad la.. It's either i think too highly of myself or too low-ly on that course.

   Looks like more and more people are getting an online diary for themselves. It's really fun, you know. You can personlise your web tt way you wan and type in the things you like. Each entry is a marking of each day. So... Join in the fun!

   I sounded as if i'm advertising for blogspot. Lol. Anyway, wish everyone best of their luck and most importantly, take care of your health.

qianqian's a seahorse

2004-07-17T14:58:00.000+08:00

Seahorse

?? Which Creature Of The Sea Are You??
brought to you by Quizilla

qianqian's favourite scene

2004-07-12T17:39:00.000+08:00

Qianqian's day

2004-07-09T20:33:00.000+08:00

Today was nice. Jac jac came to my house and we watched 3 vcd. SHe's really a nice gal. She's really nice. =)

Actually... sometimes when i'm alone, i'll imagine things. I mean. erh... Example, when i'm walking alone on the street, i'll imagine that someone's there to make me laugh. Erh.. I think it's normal la hor. Wat i meant by imagine, is wat i hope.

"These memories are playing like a film without sound"... It's wat i'm feeling now... Thinking back huh.... Many sad things happened.. May it be bgr, friendship, studies, low-esteem or wat, it's just part of a sch life. Wat for take it so hard? Why? yes, it may be heart breaking... Sometimes i wonder why i take it so seriously... When i grow older.. I think i'll just laugh thinking of all the sad things.. Does anyone of you know wat i'm talking about?

Actually i'm still quite sad that... he doesn't wan me to stay... Hey.. sad ok... Wat it feels like to have a guy to "xian qi ni". Sad right. Not to say guy la.. Gals also. Friends, worse! Not to say parents.... I'm being "xian qi" before ok.... And i cried because of it.. But my friends thought that it was nth and asked if why am i so sensitive or even petty... The worse of all is, my friends got angry with me instead... I'm not being that petty ok... Somethings i do mind a lot. No one to console me... still get angry with me... thinking that i'm such a petty person... Ya lah, sometimes quite petty. Hmmm... But about some other things, i can't believe my friends think so badly of me.

Weee... This entry looked very long. Stop reading it le la, if you are. It's a bit too boring. Hmmm... Feel a little headache... I think i over-strained my eyes. I wonder how it feels like to have someone to care a lot for you. When you say you have a headache, tt person will show me concern. Lol.

Seriously... I'm depressed when i'm trying to cheer my friends up and yet my friends think i'm being lame. Felt a bit "yuan wang". Lol.

Qianqian's chocolate

2004-07-08T16:52:00.000+08:00

Yummy.... I am eating the peppermint milk chocolate. It's the brand called calbary. Aiyah. watever la. Very nice.. About to finish it sooooon. I can't stop myself. So yummy.

Recalling on what he had said... None of them means love to me. Craps... He's damn good at beating about the bush. He did it so well that i take more than a yr to discover the true meaning. Lol. Quite funny la... It's like.. it's so looong ago and it gets more and more clearer as time flew by. Every single thing he did, every single thing i did for him.... Are so clear. Erh... except for the date.

Finally... I've thought a sentence from him that makes me feel... feel.... more... more like being liked. He said.. everytime when you put down the phone, my booster doesn't smell nice anymore. LOL. OK la..... Sounded so stupid to you all... But i treat it like bao ok.... Anyway.... If he knows that i'm touched by this pathetic sentence, he'll feel like puking. Really. Coz i'm just one of the many that admire him and also one of the many he doesn't welcome.

Yummy. Milk chocolate tasted great!

qianqian's test results

2004-07-08T00:32:00.000+08:00

Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angelsare the carriers of god, and
show their to everyone in the world.

What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-07-07T18:09:00.000+08:00

Nowadays.. My life is... let's start from waking up. Wake up then i'll go to school, i promised myself to be happy in order to past the day quickly, then go home, then sleep then wake up again, watch tv and do hw at the same time. then eat dinner then sleep.

Again! i wake up, go to sch, telling myself i MUST be happy...

I'm not grumbling about anything... Coz, wat do i expect? Right?

Tt day, was just like yesterday as i still think about it... Each and every details gets more obvious each time i think about it.. In fact, it was only then i understood... He didn't wanna be with me, at all. ALl the things i thought once was nice became bad when i truely understand each detail he told me...

I then realised... nth was nice at all. Each and every details of memories he gave me, was actually hinting me... to leave. Nv to stay.

It may sound new today... But it actually happened... yrs ago. Haha. Jokker....

Then why didn't i stop being sad about it and work hard for it? Coz i know.. we're nv meant to be. never. In this way, i am not cheating myself. I know, it's time for me to work hard for my true happiness. but i still linger a bit here and there. Haiyo...

It was then, i realised.... I wanted him to leave too.

2004-07-05T11:00:00.000+08:00

1. First Name?
Ng

2. Were you named after anyone?
no

3. Do you wish on stars?
no

4. Which finger is your favourite?
my fouth finger. Haha

5. Do you like your handwriting?
yes. Coz it's unique. It's messy. It's untidy. It's slanted. and lastly, it's big!

6. What is your favourite lunch meat?
chicken?

7. Any bad habits?
A lot. as many as i can remember.

8. If you were another person, would you be
friends WITH you?
Why not. but not being a lover with myself. Coz i'm the worse gf anyone would have.

9. Are you a daredevil?
No.

10. Have you ever told a secret you swore not
to tell?
Yes. Hehehe.. But not recently.

11. Do looks matter?
depends.

12. Have you ever misused a word and it
was absolutely stupid?
Yar! and father kept laughing about it.

13. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the
end of the rainbow?
No la. but i still hope there is.

14. Do fishes have feelings?
yes. Even plants have.

15. Are you trendy?
I'm the most obiang. Lol

16. How do you release anger?
cry. Like a crying bun. EAT. Like a pig eating.

17. Where are your second homes?
No la.

18. What was your favourite toy as a child?
I don really like toy. Oh yeah! barbie. Wahaha.

19. What subject in school do you think is
totally useless?
CME. Coz it's not motivating at all. Pple still commit crime.

20. Have you ever been on radio or television?
Nope. Maybe i will when everybody are blind.

21. Do u keep a journal?
Yar.

22. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Sometimes.

23. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
donno wat's tt.

24. What do you look for in a guy?
Attention.

25. What are your nicknames?
hahahaha.

26. Would you bungee?
wah. hell no.

27. Do you un-tie your shoes when you take
them off?
No. I've tied my shoes lace in a manner where i don hav to. Lazy.

28. What are you worried about right now?
Jia bu chu qu. Lol. worried about where my future goes.

29. Do you ever wear overalls?
donno wat's tt.

30. Do you think that you are strong?
strong? average la.

31. What's your favourite ice cream flavor?
cookies and cream!! or chocolate chips!!!

32. What's your favourite colour?
Earth's colour. Tt includes brown etc.

33. What is your least fav. thing in the world?
Being forgotten.

34. How many wisdom teeth do you have?
Which type of teeth is it.

35. Are you in love with anyone?
No la, i don call that love. Just likings.

36. How many people have a crush on you right
now?
unless they wan a car crash.

37. Who do you miss most right now?
My bed. It's someone right? haha.

38. Why do you think of life right now?
I try my best to complete it.

39. What do you think is important in life?
Love. I donno if anyone needs it. But i know i needed it.

40. Last of all, what would you like to change
about yourself?
The better the merrier.

2004-07-05T10:25:00.000+08:00

WooooOot. watever...

My korkor really very hai.... disappointing.. Really disappointing. Freak!

My mother is telling me she wanna die. My friend is telling she wanna die. Wah lau.....

Looks like it's gonna rain! A cozy day. On friday night. I've thought a new verse, for fun. It's in chinese but i can't type it hear. I'll just type the pin ying, ok? ok.!

Mingming he ni hen kaojing...

Fen shou hou, wei he bu zai lian nuo?

He ni lian nuo hou... Que jue de ge zhe yi dao qiang..

Zhi dao xian zai

Wo cai zhi dao

qi shi shi ni zou kai le..

bu shi qiang de cuo

QIanqian's MOOD

2004-07-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

WAH LAU. DOT DOT DOT. DOT DOT DOT. DOT DOT DOT. like to use DOT DOT DOT. DOT HIM AR. DOT DOT DOT. DOT DOT DOT. DOT somemore. DOT DOT DOT. DOT DOT DOT. DOT DOT DOT. DOT DOT DOT. PPLE WITH HIGH "zi zun xing" DOT DOT DOT. i donno how to called that in english. DOT DOT DOT. DOT DOT DOT. at leats be grateful when someone correct you. Not fight back for yourself. hmph!
for everybody's concern. the above things are said out of anger. don meean it ehz.

Qianqian

2004-07-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

Moody la.. Everyday happy, surely will have some down time.. right?? I think it's i wanna sleep but i haven. I wanna bathe but i haven pack. Packing alone is IRRITATING. I alwys have sooo much things around me. Wo de tian. Very difficult to pack lex..

*ahem* in another word is.. lazy. Finally i can find time to come online for a least a meaningful duration and i just sit in front of the screen, like now, doing typing. I don hav much pple to talk with, i know. I may be referring to updating blog. ah, watever.

I realised.. I haven got someone to really talk to. What i meant was, really really talk to. I don hav anyone to open my hrt. ehz.. SOunded a bit rou ma. I'm trying hard to express.

AIyah... No use talking so much too.. SPend time with myself! Talk to myself. lol.

Qianqian's haircut

2004-06-30T19:17:00.000+08:00

aiyah.... A topic on haircut... NOT a pleasant one. (X.X)... Yesterday was like a small hilarious drama. Coz i wanna get a haircut.. but my mother won't sponsor for me and i can't use my money as my friend's birthday is coming. Even if i asked from her, she'll dilly dally, making me feel uneasy.

My mother is working at Bukit Merah, altering clothes. And she told me to go there, from amk, to her work place and get the haircut at the nearby shop. She told me "take mrt to tiong bahru, then there'll be bus-stop outside, take 16 to the interchange."

I did what she said and got into bus16. To confirm, i called her and ask her is it's the correct side i'm tkaing. She kept telling me there are two passageway and one of them don't hav to cross the road. Then i asked her how about now?, i took the bus at tiong bahru plaza. Then she keep beating about the bush, in the end i say "then now, do i still hav to cross the road?" Being onfused by her beating around the bush, she said no.

In the end i took the wrong side and went to orchard,somerset,kallang, then got down at Joo CHiet. *headache* i called my father and he picked me up. I spend solid 1hr in that bus. Overall i took 2hr+ to reach mother's workplace.

Then i went for a haircut at the new saloon upstairs. Being impressed by the renovation of the saloon, i went in and paid for $18. I have to fill in forms and a guy helped me to wear a robe. Then, that guy washed and started cutting my hair. Having confidence in him, he took 2hr to get it down. BUT. There's a section of my frigde being cut away. Oh my god...... Now i hav to comb the other way and everything went wrong. (x.x)||||

My mother went up to the saloon while i was still cutting and made a big fuss about my hair. i don't blame her la, coz it's really quite horrible and he took a very loong time. I can see the stressed face on that guy. ALl i just wished was to get out of the saloon coz he kept cutting and cutting and cutting. oh my god. In the end a lady in while T-shirt gave me a hot pink gel that costed $18.

Qianqian's "first" day at sch

2004-06-28T20:49:00.000+08:00

Good evening everyone! Today i'm very happy. I have been talking almost non-stop and laughing too. I keep asking lots and lots of question to keep myself interested iun everything. I think, keeping interest ion everything, only makes my life more interesting. I've read a magazine and it says "nv lose interest in dating someone, be happy and exxcited" Therefore i used the same theory, not as in dating la. Haha.

Today i watched the "huan le DIan Feng" and listened to cai yi ling's dao dai. I felt very emotional... At the same time... I saw that cai yi ling was about to cry too... So sad. What makes her so sad..? The way she sings.. It's like she's thinking back onto something... And she almost break down that sort.

Today Xiao wei very funny. WE start all the giggling at our seats again. Erm.. Not giggling i can say.. It's ROAR of laughters. We got sooo used to it and when we go library. We almost to let them all out. I just laugh until my face got cramped and xiao wei laugh until as if she's gonna burst very soon. Lol. Laugh about wat?? I'm not sure too. Any small things that fascinates us.

It's happy day. That's why i say, let everything cheer you up! Forcing yourself to be sad isn't really a comfortable thing.. If you're sad, let someone cheer you up.

2004-06-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

Sweet Milk Pocky! You're an elitist, since you're
not really suited to the American taste. You're
sweet, as your name implies, but sometimes you
do get a little haughty.

What Kind of Pocky are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

MmmmMm... Yummy. Try this quiz!! It's yummy. Hahaha. *ahem*

so far... I've got somethign LooOong to say

I know this i know that, i know cannot this i know cannot that, i've tried this i've tried that, i've i've cried for this i've cried for that, i've learnt from this i've learnt from that, i've remembered this i've remembered that, i should have stop this i should have stop that....

but.... i donno why... i still continue to do this and that. life... my life...

Quizillaaaa

2004-06-24T11:54:00.000+08:00

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)

What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

LOVE is your chinese symbol!

What Chinese Symbol Are You? -- Updated (7/21/03)
brought to you by Quizilla

Nothing

2004-06-23T12:45:00.000+08:00

ok.... Now i've got lots of hw to do... One compre, i can use the whole day and i can only complete less than half. Don feel like doing le.. Just eat, sleep, eat, sleep. Very zao gao. Haha.

Something had been distracting me and i can't concentrate on my work. I donno. I think i'm just too used to multi-tasking. Doin so much things at one time andin the end, NTH is done.

Wanted to find someone nice to talk to. However when i found someone, i dont feel like talking le.. Maybe coz they are not interested in it anyway. BUT, when they're are interested, i can't say coz somethings are better to be left confidential. I should learn to keep them. I should. I let out a bit to one of my friend.. and i'm glad she understands a little. A little will do.

I talked to my pri sch friend, Chin Lay, yesterday. And she was caught with some bgr problem. She asked me how... i can't help her too. If i were in her shoes, I'll feel very lost too. After she told me everything, all i could conclude is... she really like(love) him but.. he isn't sure whether he like(love) her and all he could do is make use of her to satisfy himself. HOw? By some minor things bah.. Hope he won't go too far coz my friend really like(love) him and can't resist him.

Ok. Now. Doing a little reflection. I'm back to the same me. I think if i could just be myself and not worry too much about what other think of me, will be better. In fact, i think pple will appreciate even more. I feel as though i havent still grown up. Still a bit insensitive towards others. Sorry... I'm like that eh... Mei you ren yuan. haha.

Yes, i have friends, in fact quite close. However, as much as i've been through, it was alwys my best friends who chose to leave me first when i think they are important. I'll have to blame myself for not treasuring them from the start. Yar, the start. However... I need time to trust completely you see... but i'm alwys late. ALWYS. EVERYTHING i'm late...

Is there someone who's willing to wait..?

Qianqian

2004-06-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

"Wheeeee...~~" Today my main events are wake up, eat,sch, sleep, eat,sleep,eat the lastly sleep till tml. That's exactly wat i've done the whole day. Let me list out what i've eaten today... *NaMiNaMiNaMi...*

1)A plate of wanton noodles with soup, 2 eggs & 1 pkt HL Milk.
2)A plate of french fries, dumpling, 3 cups of water
3)one big pkt of horfun, a bowl of soup, 1 cup of water.

Well... It might not sound alot.. BUT, look, it's all rich in carbohydrates. LOL. I might get fat.... :( anyway... that's not the issue. I just couldn't get enough sleeeep.

I've watched a tv programme and a slim lady recommended that we should sleep more than 12hrs per day to loss weight easily. Actually i believe in that. Haha. However i only managed to sleep for max 10hrs.

Today... was quite light-hrted. ya... overall la. And my msn nick doesn't mean anything ok... DOn get mistaken or wat. It's a song "could you ever(love me again) by C12. Very nice. If you all wanna listen to it. Msg me in msn and i'll send you.

Qianqian's "job"

2004-06-21T11:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night, i earned myself $10 to clean my room. Although it sounded a bit weird to be paid for cleaning up my own room. Haha. Actually i was supposed to clean the whole house for $35. Then my mother said "huh! ni hai shi xian qing li ni de fang jian xian zai jiang." then i say "ok lor. $10!" haha. WHy i need money? coz i wanna buy the things i like. Coz everytime when i go out, I'll alwys hav to save here save there. In the end, i bought NTH. Sometimes my friends see le also xin ku. Then sometimes they'll buy for me. Quite touched.

If a get a job, I'll treat my friends to things. As in return? yar.

I don like things to bve sooo neat, especially in sch, on my table. My table will be stuffed with all kinds of things and my bag is normally empty. Xiao Wei can't stand it but she just "suan le". haha. At the most, she'll push my things away, as long as it doesn't exceed her table, she's fine with it. hahaha. Very funny. Sometimes she'll just get pissed off and told me to pack up immdediately.

Qianqian & New Blog

2004-06-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

Heyyyy. I've changed my blog to this. I've also inserted the song. I guess you all know what song is this. I've placed a same oold brand new tagboard here too.

However, I've heard some "complaints" that my blog will alwys hav a problem when you all come in to read. And i've realised that it might be that Tagboard. Therefore, i would like to know if you all want the tagboard to be here and bear with the problems or i remove the tagboard? I can't decide myself, you see.

I'm still having a painful skin on my back. Lol. very red. It's still not gone after around 3days. Still one patch of red. Having problem in bathing, sleeping and carrying bag. Or even stretching around. Haha.

I almost became roasted pig. Then olibia requested to go there again. Then i told her, "the next time i go there again. I'll bring an umbrella along!" haha. Kidding. I'll really be an aunty if i bring umbrella. My father, best, he asked me to wear raincoat. (o.o)???

Yesterday i had another dream again. Not going to mention it.. Coz it's really sweet but in reality..... it ISN'T at all. Coz in reality, there's not even one bit alike the dream. Argh. Haha.

Hope everyone have a super holiday!

Qianqian's Day

2004-06-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

Wah, today actually quite nice. Went to suntec city with XIao Wei, Olivia and Yvonne Lim. Then after that we watched Harry Potter. It's really a cool movie. Coz the scenary are nice! very majestic kind of feeling. Even candles can float in the air. The sound effects are great.

Then that Xiao Wei kept laughing loudly. Haha. Her laughter made us laugh too. I didn't laugh much coz i needa concentrate lex. Lol.

After reading johnathon's blog, i also got one short story about my encounter with a cockroach. There's one night i slept in my parents' room on the floor, on the mattress. Then when it comes to the morning around 6.20, quite dark. Then blur blur de. I hav to pack up my mattress and put it back. After that, i went back to my parents' room to wash up. Then i saw something black on the floor. But i can't see well coz i only on the kitchen light. Then i thought i dropped something and i picked it up. I feel that it's moving. EEEk! it's a cockroach. (-.-)||||

What a good morning.

Qianqian & All of My Friends

2004-06-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

Aiyo.. Typed a looong entry but got erased off somehow. ANyway, it's a lovely day. I don't mind typign again.

Yesterday was cool. I had that AFA (adult first-aid) course. Then had the dinner at KFC with ching yee, angelina and halimah. It was a fun dinner coz we shared a lot of things especially on the bus. After CHing yee went down, we noticed some writings on her seat. Something about... *ahem* haha. She had been sitting on it for ... quite a long time(1hr), with writings beneath.

Then i walked home with angelina... We kept exchaning ghost stories on the way. Eeek! She's nice actually.

Today, went out with Xiao Wei. SHe seemed moody at first but we really had a jolly time the whole day. Neither of us get pissed off by each other, we were joking around. SHe's a jolly gal. Don make her sad HOR.

Olivia asked me to check something out (price). *ahem* forgot. Then she say nvm and we'll look at it on monday.

Now, the best thing is..... AH gwen and angelina came to my house after a phone form angelina, "qianqian. ni deng yi xia you mei you chu qu?". They presented a huggable pig head, bubbly card at my doorstep. At that moment, i'm glad to hav them back. I enjoyed hugging the pig.

Hey... Xie xie. Friends forever.

Qianqian & All of My Friends

2004-06-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

Erm... Today was so much fun, yesterday too!

Yesterday: i went for that AFA (adult first-aid) course... And.. *ahem* No one pass. Then me, ching yee, angelina, halimah went to eat KFC. Cool... SO long didn't had a proper meal with them. Asked bengleong along but he say his mother got cook. Then i say "mama..." OH dear.... he mistook me as i'm saying he's mama's boy. No hor. I say mama becoz i was just repeating. Lol. ANyway, i know i don mean to say him that's all. He didn't get angry too.

after that, me and angelina went home together. We kept thinking of ghost stories to share. Eeek. some really freak us out. Quite fun to hav her here.

Then, today, went out with xiao wei. At the start, she looked so fierce. After that, we were having sooo much fun. She's really a jolly gal. Cheery gal. Don make her upset ok! Olivia, thanks for trusting me.

The best part comes! "qianqian ar, ni deng yi xia you mei you chu qu?" a ccall from angelina. Then, angleina and ah gwen appeared at my doorstep. They presented me with a huggable pig head, and a bubbly card. At that moment, i knew that everything's over. I hav them back as my friends again! So cute. Now i'm just playing around with the pig's eye. I'm glad it's sewn onto it, not stick, if not surely come out de. Haha.

Qianqian's sleep

2004-06-11T10:55:00.000+08:00

Haiyooo...... Couldn't sleep well you ar. Argh. My good sleep MUST include long hourSS and non-stop, no waking up in the middle of the night. However, recently i kept waking up for different reason for each night. First is too warm, second is took after noon nap already, thirdly mosquito bite! and then again took afternoon nap already then yesterday.... I finally made myself tired and i DID sleep properly. Everything was FINE, PEACEFUL and COMFORTABLE when suddenly a drunk man, i suppose, kept shoutinggggg. "@#$^& jiao! @$#&^&* Jiao" that's wat i heard. Arghhh.

Actually i couldn't sleep well becoz i was scared too. If i something wakes me up suddenly, i'll think it's ghost. Lol. Then i didn't dare to move lex..... Then i gathered all my courage and ran to my parents room. My mother was sleeping like a pig and my father was like a log. Anyway, i managed to wake papa up and he suggested me to sleep with them. On the floor, with my mattress of coz. I though everything was fine but..... I woke up at 4smthing as it was too warmm. I then look at my parent's bed and only saw my papa conquering the whole bed, his hands and legs stretching out. I found my mother on the floor. (o.O)!!

In the end, i went back to my bed and woke up at 9.45am. ARGH... i only slept for such short hours.

Qianqian's dream

2004-06-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

Hey... I'm back. I'm listening to the midi in my blog and found it romantic... Especially when the dream i talked about came across my mind... The song is.. "ni yao de ai"

A romantic day.... Will start in the morning, on my birthday. Don tease me hor... I'm just writing for fun.

In the morning.... just before i wake up, i know somethign's waiting for me. It's his sms, "dear ar. brush teeth lo!". I know i'll smile and bury my face uder my booster. Then i'll drag myself up, wash face & brush teeth (every corner, every degree of my teeth). His face keep appearing while i concentrate on my grooming. THinking... Is he gonna like this? Anyway, on that day i won't hav to think sOo much coz i'll get it ready.

I'll walk to the place we meet, let's put it this way, i'll reach there first. Fair?? I'll sit on the bench near by... Waiting impatiently his arrival. I'll grumble, i know i will. If he's late for more than 15mins. I'll worry, i know i will. I'll get afraid and thinks that he's in trouble and start to panic and... miss him.

When he comes, I'll pull a damn long face. However, when he stops in front of me and look at me, i'll blush. Maybe i'll cry. Anyway, we'll start going to cool places like.... I donna la, any shopping centre will do. I'll be really quuiet at the start, at times i will stare at him. And he surely give one blur look, "huh?? Wat??" you know wat i expected? I wan him to wish me. However i know he won't. I'll wait.

After that, we'll visit some childish shops, like kiddo palace, and pinch my eeyore's nose.. He'll hit my head. Argh! I'll hit him back.

Then... We'll hav try some new stuffs for dinner. Instead of just the things i normally eat, like fastfood. THen... the best time comes.......

We'll go to the habour front. You know, the place where there's a quiet river. I donno the name la. It's dark, it's cold. I'm still waiting for my wishes. He looks dreamy at me, and i'll stare blankly at him. He'll say "you look like unwanted kitten(or something)" I'll hit him! I think i'm contradicting. I'm supposed to be GENTLE! Lol.

We'll walk along the river.... side by side, just next to each other. We know we truely love each other. The answer is inside us, we don't hav to suspect, we trust. I know i needed him, he knows too. He knows he can't live without me, I know too. We don't hav to do anything extra. It's kinda thick-skin but that's the way i want it... you see... I want it to be... we really need each other. No more gaps.

We'll just be quiet, listening our footsteps. I'll make the irst move, i'll cling onto his right hand. He'll look shock. Anyway, at that time i'm confident that he won't feel disturbed. Then, he'll try to look cool which will make me burst out in laughter.

We'll walk to a bridge. I know there's a bridge. We both will be standing at the middle of the mighty bridge, next to each other. Breeze blows across my face, brushing my hair away from it. (i know my hair sux, just pretend it isn't!) After a moment of silence, he'll suddenly turn to look at me,

"happy birthday"

Qianqian's dream

2004-06-09T22:03:00.000+08:00

Hey... Blog blog. Nowadays i'm just like an empty shell. *knock knock* Nth inside. erm.. yesterday i had this dream about my "bf" and i. Haha. I donno how that guy looks like. But it was rather sweet to be with him. *blushes*

The feeling is so real... But of coz, all my dreams feels real.. even nightmares! However, i've nv experience such sweetness for a long time... Say i fa hua chi.. But it's really sweet. I could trust everything he says, and i really feel loved..
Say i fa hua chi... Coz that's my dream and that's also my dream(wat i wan). Haiz.. sad to say, such things are only sweeter in dreams but bitter in real life. By the way, thanks for those who wished for me to have a sweet dream coz i really did hav one!

Couldn't sleep well everyday.... Yesterday was worse! I roll and roll... I even read every details of two magazines that i've read before. I AM tired... but i hav so much things in mind. I'm afraid that those who likes(friends) me now, likes me no more. I'm afraid those who enjoys being with me, won't be. I'm afraid that all my acc, won't acc me. I really appreciate someone to walk side by side with me.... Somehow... where..?

Maybe becoz i'm afraid to be lonely, not independent enough. Not strong enough.

My friend said each one of us come into this world as a pair(boy & gal). It's only a matter of time to meet each other or watever... I'm waiting. But you know, i had this funny thinking that wat if this person died in a car crash or watever... OH NO. I'll remain unmarried for eternity. LoL.